First, Let’s Lay Some Ground Rules
Before you go approaching anyone to ask for a dance, there are a few important things you need to be mindful of:
- Look clean
- Smell clean
- Don’t look desperate (even if you are!)
The first three rules are straight forward, however the last point might have caught you fellas by surprise. Yes – sometimes you can come off as desperate, needy, or otherwise unconfident in yourself. That’s a red flag for the ladies and it’s going to hurt your chances of getting a “yes”. So the next time you ask someone to dance, be aware of how you conduct yourself and make adjustments accordingly. Check out the video above, if you’re not sure where to start.
Ask. Don’t Grab!
The act of asking for a dance should always be initiated with a question – not a grab of the hand. Don’t simply expect a “yes”. Respectfully ask, “would you like to dance?” and wait for the answer. It’s simple, but not everyone does it.
Get Comfortable With “Yes” & “No”
First off guys, you’re going to have to get comfortable with rejection and be content with the fact that you could either get a “yes” or a “no”. Neither of these responses reflect negatively on who you are as a person and once you accept that fact, you’ll already be more confident in asking the next lady to dance.
You’ve Got a Response. What’s Next?
If you’ve got a “yes” – great. you’re ready to read on. If it’s a “no”, refer to our post on how to handle rejection. There you’ll get a few pointers on how to deal with “no’s” and how you can react.
So now that you’ve got a “yes”, it’s time to escort your partner to a safe place on the dance floor. Do your best to find an open spot with lots of room. If one isn’t available (which is very common at busy socials), make sure you sneak your way into a spot without putting your partner at risk. It’s very easy to get elbowed or stepped on so be aware of those flying body parts as you meander through the crowd.
Finishing The Dance
Say a genuine “thank you” and escort your partner off the dance floor. This act of escorting is sometimes over looked and is easy to forget in a casual environment. Being respectful can go a long way in having a positive effect on the way you’re perceived as a lead. In saying that, if someone else wants to swoop up your partner for a dance once you’re done, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Escorting her off the dance floor is not a must – it’s a gentlemanly thing to do.
A Note For The Ladies
Hey ladies, most of this post has been addressed to the guys, but it’s helpful for you to know that it doesn’t always have to be the man asking the lady to dance. It’s perfectly acceptable for you ladies to ask the fellas too. This is especially common when there is a low ratio of men to women at a social. Ladies, sometimes you have to be willing to fight your way to a partner if the numbers aren’t in your favour. All the tips above apply to you too. Look clean, smell clean, smile and don’t be desperate.
P.S. Want more Salsa advice? Check out our page on Salsa tips here.