Yes, there’s a chance you are boring. But before we jump to any conclusions, let’s dig a little deeper.
The whole origin of the question, “Am I boring to dance with” usually stems from one of those awkward, less-than-successful social dances you had recently.
Let’s take a look at what might be happening:
- You think you’re boring, but your partner doesn’t
- Your partner thinks you’re boring, but you think you’re a rockstar
- Your partner thinks you’re boring and you sadly agree
- You’re totally awesome to dance with but you think you are boring because you just have a ton of negativity floating around in your head.
Whatever the case, we’re going to help you get to the bottom of it, and give you some tips on how to become more enjoyable to dance with.
All it’s going to take is a little personal reflection and a makeover on some of your social dancing habits.
The “Am I Boring To Dance With” Checklist
To help you evaluate whether or not you’re actually boring to dance with, go through the checklist below and answer the questions:
- Do you feel like you only know a handful of moves?
- Are you repeating the same moves over and over?
- Can you dance on beat? Do you dance on beat?
- Do you apologize for mistakes way too often?
- Do you listen to the music and adjust your dancing to what’s happening in the song?
- Do you interact with your partner? Smiles, eye contact, laughs, exchange words
- Are you having fun while social dancing?
Reasons You Think You’re Boring
Reason 1: You’re always repeating the same moves – no variety in your dance steps
Solution: Spend some time growing your vocabulary, especially taking the time to learn variations of the moves you already know. You’d be surprised how many ways you can tweak a move with hand tosses, hand hold variations and different entrances and exits. All these things will make a single step look and feel different every time you do it.
Reason 2: You have little to no ability to adjust your dancing to the music
Solution: Work on understanding the structure of Salsa music. Learn about the various parts of the song and how your dancing can evolve and change to fit that music. At the beginning of a song, your dancing should be more simplistic. As the song builds you can build up to more complicated patterns as long as your partner is able to keep up. When you hit the solo sections in the music, that’s a great time to let go of your partner and do some shines.
Knowing just a little bit about your music can make a big difference in how you dance to it. Having the ability to switch up your movement to suit the music will make you a much more interesting dance partner.
Reason 3: You’re not having fun
You’re probably not having fun because you A) lack confidence B) have a poor interaction with your partner or C) have had a bad experience recently that totally turned you off from social dancing.
Solution: Although there’s not much we can do about C, we can definitely address the first two issues. Usually people lack confidence because of a lack of success, so here are some ways to become more successful with your dancing:
Practice what we’ve already told you above: Add variations to your steps, improve your vocabulary and work on adding musicality into your dancing.
Next, you can start enjoying yourself more by improving your interaction with your partner. Smile, laugh, chat, joke and just be yourself. Have a genuine interaction with your partner and don’t worry about taking things to seriously. If you’re having fun, they’ll have fun too. That I can promise.
Reason 4: Your partner looks like he/she is not having fun
If your partner looks like she isn’t having fun, there are two possibilities: It’s you or it’s them. There could be a thousand and one reasons that they aren’t having a good time so don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that you are the problem.
Solution: Be present in the moment. Focus on your partner and give him/her the attention they deserve. Don’t stare blankly around the room as if you’re looking for your next partner. Make the best of the time you have together – it’s only a few minutes.
If things feel too serious, feel free to throw an extra smile their way or make a joke if something goes wrong. Keep the mood light and see if things improve. Whatever you do, don’t apologize constantly for making mistakes. That can get tiring. Mistakes happen and we all know it. Laugh them off – don’t be apologetic. After all, you’re trying your best right?
If you’re still getting weird vibes from your partner after all that, it’s probably not your fault. It’s likely they have some other issues going on outside of the Salsa world that are affecting their mood.
Reasons Your Partner Thinks You are Boring
The majority of the time, your partner will not be hating on your lack of Salsa moves. Salsa culture is very accepting so never feel like being a beginner is your downfall.
The problem of boredom usually comes down to something a lot more unexpected: being present in the moment. Boring people are usually in their own world. They don’t make eye contact, they don’t smile and they make you feel as if you’re dancing with a robot. If you have no emotional connection with your partner, check yourself. Emotion is how humans connect and express themselves. If there is no expression, there can be no fun! Do both yourselves a favour and focus on your partner!
Tell us Your Story
Has there ever been a time that you felt you or your partner were boring to dance with? What was going through your mind? How did you deal with it? Share in the comments below!